Naked Tchopstix

We were to all meet at Naked Tchopstix at 8:30 but of course I got lost in the Kroger parking lot, and was 10 minutes late.  Literally.  For Real.  What a pain in the lower backside to find this place the first time.  8607 US Highway 24 West, Fort Wayne, IN was programmed into my GPS and all she could say was recalculating.  Well let me be the one to tell you how to get there, and make it easy for you.  When you see the Hilton Garden Inn on I-69 and Jefferson (US 24) you will notice a Kroger behind the hotel.  Drive into the Kroger parking lot.  Exactly!  Do not follow any roads!  Pull into the Kroger parking lot.  Drive in front of the Kroger dodging shopping carts and old ladies.  When you get to the other side of the parking lot, Naked Tchopstix is across the one-way road going the wrong way and up the hill in the Hilton Garden Inn’s parking lot.  Did you notice I did not mention any roads but lots of parking lots?

             I showed up at the hostess stand carrying balloons and gifts, asking where my party is.  They have not a clue. Then somebody remembers that there was a party in the Geisha room (fondly called the Tranny room by my party), and I was shown to the table.

Sat down, said my hellos and ordered hot tea.  Naked Tchopstix (NT for short) has no selection of hot tea. Only green tea.  No honey-ginger tea or any of the fun stuff. Oh well, I ordered the hot tea and it was so strong that it almost tasted like spinach.

The menu had a lot of stuff on it.  Supposedly NT is supposed to be a Korean / Japanese / Sushi restaurant.  Well the Bilgogi was misspelled as Bilgoki, the Bibimbap was misspelled as Bibimbab, and the Crab Rangoon was misspelled as Crab Ragoon.  What can you expect when the name of the place is spelled with an X.  Come on people get a dam proof reader already if you are going charge $15 a plate and call yourself upscale.







The waiter had neither grace nor finesse.  He must have been hired for his nationality and cute looks?  My advice for him is to go back to school and get a degree.  The poor little thing tripped all over himself while behind me… no idea what he was trying to do behind me; but when you see chairs stacked in the corner and balloons all over the place tied to presents, do not attempt to walk thru that mess.







The waiter brought out the food two dishes at a time. For a party of eight, this took a while. Then when he was bringing out the 7^th entrée he had to light a fire and do a tableside presentation while Heidi (who was #8) had to wait forever for her food that was left in the kitchen getting cold while said waiter played with fire… while everyone else had their food.  Clueless!

Again, come on people, for an upscale restaurant you do not have any food runners?  Really?  Really now?  How about asking a manager to follow you with food?  And clear some of the side plates off the table before trying to set a bento box in front of people.  Drink glasses and saucers everywhere, and the waiter truly  thought he was going to set the bento box down?  He was clueless.  It got to the point where we were setting our dirty dishes and empty bento boxes on the empty table beside us.  The waiter never noticed and never cleared them off.

The Bilgogi (a Korean BBQ beef dish) was just ok.  It needed a little more sugar and a lot more flavor.  We got around this by dumping lots of soy-sauce on it, or dipping it into the salad dressing.  If you want a nice Bilgogi go to Seoul Gardens on Coliseum Blvd.  Seoul Gardens is on the north side of the road before you get to the truck stop.

An ink pen was under my chair from the previous diners.  Come on people sweep the floor between covers! Is it that hard?

The food was good, the service was lacking, but the companions were beautiful.  Just look at the cleavage on Laura …err… I mean the birthday wishes Laura received.

I do like that there is plenty of room to sit at the tables at NT, unlike Asakusa where you are packed in.  Also, Asakusa service is rude and rushed. So I guess I can deal with NT’s service being clueless and clumsy because he was very friendly and personable and he did try. (Try my patience that is).

After drinking my green tea, I swirled the leaves in my cup in order to practice the age old divination of Tasseopraphy which is the fancy word for reading the tea leaves in order to tell my fortune.  Buddha sitting cross legged on top of the mountain appeared in my tea leaves on the upper wall inside my cup.  Starting at the rim is the present, and the farther down you go to the bottom of the cup is the future.  The mountain means a journey of hindrance; a difficult but possible goal; but what does the Buddha sitting on top of the mountain mean?

Then I poured the remaining leaves onto a saucer and swirled.  An angel means good news and protection and a kite means wishes will come true.  I saw two angels flying two kites. So that means double my fortune! Woohoo for me! 

Your body is filled with spiritual energy; tea leaves are your soul’s fingerprints.  It gets a lot deeper than that but I specifically saw Fat – Happy – Buddha sitting on top of the mountain.  

As my friends wandered what else the waiter had put into my cup other than tea leaves… hmmm.